There's a fine line between sharing and sharing too much. One thing I am in the process of learning is that there are safe places to share intimate details and not so safe places. This applies to people as well. A problem arises when you think you are sharing in a safe setting, and it turns out not to be. This happens both online and in real life.
A good example is sharing in a group or forum online. In general, a forum with guidelines that specifically promote ideas about recovery from an eating disorder usually ends up being a safe setting, but that's not always the case. I recently left a group that had all kinds of declarations about stopping pro-ana sentiment, yet every chance the moderator got, he posted triggering content. When other group members called him out on it, his response was something along the lines of, "Get a tougher skin."
What concerns me more is sharing with someone you feel you can trust and finding out later that you shouldn't have opened yourself up for potential wounding. I guess the lesson here is once bitten, twice shy. In other words, find out quickly who has your back, and if someone uses something you shared in confidence against you, avoid giving that person intimate details again. Same thing when someone can't be honest with you. While I generally forgive pretty easily, I'm careful about trusting.
That said, when you find people you can trust, keep them close.
I haven't been writing lately, and it shows. Sometimes when there's a lot going on in life, I isolate and focus more on distractions.
In the last few weeks, I have been working on creating a radio show/podcast that addresses eating disorders, recovery, body image, athletics, health and women's issues. The shows will air locally on Sunday nights from 6:30 - 8 p.m. MST. I've done two test shows, one on Bulimia posted just before this post, and one my own history, just a quick rehash of where I have been and where I'm headed. When I did that one, it was unplanned and very unstructured.
I still can't quite put my finger on all the reasons why, but I felt funny after we wrapped things up with the second recording. It felt like a lot of me, me, me. Maybe I shared too much. My co-host was very kind and assured me that it was not unlike what goes on during AA meetings, where people share their story in an effort to inspire others. Still, sometimes it's hard to know where the line of too much and not enough is when it comes to spilling your guts. Hopefully I will find a happy medium. Mostly, though, these recordings are going to be about other people and recovery in general.
I've got a few interviews lined up, but if you or anyone you know has a recovery story to share, please contact me at ggirl.kglr@gmail.com
Thank you for posting this. I have read your book and recently stumbled upon your blog. I agree that when you find someone you can trust you should hold them close.
ReplyDeleteI find it curious that with everything you've been though you say you forgive easily. Do you mean you can go back and trust someone who has beached your trust, or forgive yourself for trusting them, realising they betrayed you?
Thank you for sharing your story!
Karzy
Thank you so much for your response to this post.
DeleteI think for me, the forgiving is more about forgiving myself. I will give people second chances, though. Mostly, I try not to hold grudges, but I'm still working on the letting go completely part!
Thanks again for your kind words and for reading my story.