I'm sure I'm not the first to express disappointment in the big O, Oprah, that is. What I mean to say is, Fuck You, Oprah.
When I saw the Weight Watchers commercial starring the big O, I immediately knew there was something suspicious about it. It turns out, the billionaire acquired 10 percent of the company, and don't you know that their stock soared right after the ad aired? Who would have thunk it? Certainly not the former talk show host. Of course not. She just wants to help people.
You see, it's not enough to be one of the most recognized names in television. It's not enough to be a billionaire, and it's definitely not enough to win medals and get honorary degrees. No, if you're not THIN, none of that matters, right Oprah? Being thin is what life's about.
When you look in the mirror, Oprah knows you're not supposed to see something you like; you're supposed to hate yourself and pick on every flaw. Then you can turn to the multi-billion-dollar beauty industry for help, yes? Take this or that pill. Nip or tuck here or there, or simply call Weight Watchers. Oprah knows you want to.
Oprah claims, "Inside every overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be..." followed by a lot of blah blah.
Some people are calling this inspirational. I call it bullshit, complete and total bullllllllllshiiit. You may not be confident and secure in who you are, dear O, but many people of all shapes and sizes are.
Stop inflicting your insecurities onto others. Go back to your charity work. You were more likable when you were doing that. Mostly, just shut the fuck up and stop damaging the impressionable minds of young individuals and people who might be hurting with your quest to make yet more fucking cash.
Meanwhile, France has taken one small step in the right direction by banning models who are at an unhealthy and potentially dangerous weight.