The Bad Guy

In my late post, I got carried away focusing on people who blame others for every issue they have, but it was cathartic for me to put it out there. In general, I don't believe most people or even many people do this. It's more that the ones who do often make a big stink about it, making it hard to ignore.

If I had a superpower, other than an abnormally keen sense of smell, which sometimes mikes life challenging, I'd make a good superhero. I like justice in the world. It drives me into a tizzy when I see people lie, stir up shit, steal or intentionally hurt others. When anything like that goes down, I want the perpetrator to be exposed to the world. I want everyone to know the truth, period, but sometimes you have to let things go and trust that the truth will eventually surface. I keep hoping a little poetic justice will find its way into various situations, and chances are it will. It's better to have hope than to go through life thinking people who behave badly will prevail.

Slight left turn...

In an online eating disorder forum in which I am a mentor, one of the members posted something about how people will always hurt you, disappoint you and put you down. Because people will never have your best interest in mind, you should turn to God. Naturally, this made me cringe, even though I'm sure there will be times when people won't be perfect.

First, I don't believe that the majority of people can't be trusted. Yes, some people are terrible and hateful or will disappoint you. It's important to find select individuals you know you CAN count on, though, even if it means seeking out a therapist or support groups. Self reliance is probably better than turning to anyone or anything, not because people are inherently shitty but because there are times when others might not be available when you need or in the way you want. This doesn't mean you have to blame anyone. It can often be a matter of a person not knowing how to be there for you, or you not being able to ask for what you need.

Second, I still can't figure out why turning to God is the answer if you have a problem. There are hundreds of solutions to various problems, and wishing a deity would relieve your woes might not actually solve things, whereas taking action might. I hate getting into religion and don't want to pass judgment on anyone  --you're free to believe what you like -- I just wish that people wouldn't over simplify an issue by tossing out statements about turning to God. The implication is that if you are good enough and believe hard enough, you won't suffer, which isn't always the case.

I don't think it's necessary to look at the world as a perpetually hostile place. It's likely you will encounter some nastiness in life, but it doesn't mean everyone is out to get you. Many people will be on your side. Sometimes perfect strangers can end up being your best allies.

On a side note, I forgot to mention a cool website that provides stories, inspiration and articles relating to mental illness, disability and disease. One of my letters was published here: The Mighty

God and Recovery

I'm a member of two online eating disorder recovery groups on Facebook, mostly to offer support to others. It's one way for me to feel like I'm giving back. There are a few of us who are in more than one group, so I see familiar faces posting in each. Most are careful to avoid posting the exact same thing in the various online communities, though. One woman posts multiple times a day in both groups (and probably more), and every post makes a reference to god, Jesus or the bible. Apparently she has no clue that not everyone on the planet believes in her same god.

It makes me uncomfortable to see both groups so cluttered with religious thought when I know for a fact that I'm not the only atheist or agnostic in the forum. I'm sure there are other religions represented as well. More importantly, these clubs should be about recovery, not accepting Jesus into your life, and trust me, in my darkest hour, it wasn't God's face on a piece of toast that motivated me to get well.

I'm not opposed to people using whatever means possible to step out of an illness, but I'm bothered when people try to force their beliefs on others. This was a big reason why I wrote my book. It is fine if you want to talk to ED or pray to God, but remember that you create your own path to recovery. If you want Jesus by your side, that's cool, but if you prefer going it alone, you have every right to do it your way.