Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I kind of want to race. I also kind of don't want to race. I got all excited, thinking I could jump into something this week, but then all kinds of things happened, including a drop in my confidence, as I realized just how slow I must be these days. A drop in energy has also occurred. I'm not sure if it's because sleep is lacking or things are hectic, but I'm feeling like I want to nap all day. I have no explanation for the desire to eat every 2 hours, but I'm abnormally hungry and cranky lately. Also, some hardcore PT made my foot so sore that I was limping yesterday. Oddly, today it feels a bit better. Still, I all of a sudden can't put my full weight on it when I attempt toe raisers, so I think running in a crowd probably isn't the best idea this week. I mean, do I do it for the sake of doing it with the idea that it's just a hard workout or do I hold off until I can actually really run hard?  :/  Either way, I have to face the fact that I am out of shape and slow- really slow, and that's never easy. And do I really want anyone else to witness that? On the other hand, I'm running. Despite the incredible stiffness I'm experiencing, the pain and the frustration, I am running.

Sigh. So why do I want more?


  1. Why do you want more? Because as Kendal said recently (and you agreed), you are a warrior. You know there are battles to be fought, and it's against your nature to sit on the sidelines. But you also know this: "The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." (Juma Ikangaa)

    You will know when the time is right! (I'm waiting for that revelation myself.)

  2. Thank you so much, Marilyn! I love the quote.

    I'm pretty sure now is not the time for me to be racing, but I keep fighting it. Right now, I don't feel anything like a warrior. I keep hoping that will change though. I think what I said came off wrong, because I wanted to agree with Kendal's statement about recovery and it having to do with a shift in identity, which could also apply here! :)

    While we both wait for the right time, I hope thigns are going well for you. Maybe I'll try a little time trial or timed workout instead of a race first. That would probably be more reasonable.

  3. Interesting dilemma :) Funnily enough, I *just* read a post by Devon Crosby-Helms on the same issue, namely fighting the emotional need to run a race, knowing that it's not the best or the right thing for you right now! Just from what you've written here, it sounds like now is not the time for you - but picking a goal race in autumn might be possible? It's nice to have the feeling that you're working toward something...of course I don't know if your foot situation allows you to plan in advance.

  4. P.S. the post I referred to is the most recent one at

  5. I'll have to check it out. Thank you!
    That's actually a really good idea. So far my foot hasn't allowed me to look very far ahead, but the fall is a little bit down the road. I mean, even if I can attempt to train for something, it would probably be a good thing. Ok- so now to find something fun for the fall. Maybe I can find a hill climb. :D


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.