Thursday, August 4, 2011

Oh no.

Yikes. My period finally arrived. What a rough month it has been. Between the hormonal stuff, working extra and my foot, I feel like I want to spend a few days in bed avoiding the world. Since I'm so used to being on a short cycle and occasionally getting "the bleedies" (do people really say that?) every two weeks, having this one arrive a full month after the last made it feel like I was late. Well, there was the time line and then the fact that I had all kinds of hormonal side effects that were overly exaggerated this time including but not limited to:

* A zit so large that it looked like an alien was trying to crawl out of my head.
* Cramps, OMG cramps. I get them both before AND during my period. It's double the excitement! 
* Prolonged bottomless pit syndrome with probably waaayy too much chocolate consumed, which might not be too horrible a thing, as this article pointed out, but didn't make me feel good about my willpower or lack thereof. 
* Grumpiness to the point where I wanted to kick random people in the shins, especially the bratty kid on the trails who was pretending to shoot me with a stick that was supposed to look like a gun. Fuck that shit. 
* Sore and swollen body parts.

Speaking of those particular body parts, I went shopping for a bra with a little extra support, hoping I could find something like the Brooks running bra that I found a few years ago that's simple but supportive. I started missing the days when I didn't need much support. In fact, for most of my running career, I didn't even wear a sports bra. Instead I wore a regular little lacy one. I think sports bras weren't all that popular until the 90's. Anyway, while on my quest for some support for my poor boobies, I found that there are now padded running bras. This instantly made me scratch my head and think, WTF?!! I guess people want to look good while running, and that's totally fine-look good/feel good, but a padded bra? Really? There are also one shoulder running bras. Huh? That would drive me crazy. In art I like asymmetry, but on my body, asymmetry would completely annoy me. I predict that soon Nike will start selling lipstick, eye shadow, fake nails and hair extensions for runners. I walked out with nothing.

On a somewhat similar note, I noticed that Victoria's Secret is now geared toward teens and tweens with only a few adult options. Do tweens really need padding? I guess the catalogs are different, but I felt inundated by pink polka dots when I walked into the store, and the sizes are all screwy.  I barely fit in a medium there. I'm not a big girl, so something's not quite right. I think even older women these days are "supposed to" have the body of a 14 year old boy, but buy the padded stuff to counter that? I can't quite figure it out.

As long as I'm complaining here:

Adidas running groupie attire-it doesn't have to function, as long as it looks good! Yes- my shoes are history. I'm pissed off that I spent what I did, and was only able to use them for about a month. Grrr. I could see if I were training hard, but this is just as I'm getting started running again. Before anyone goes on about how great Adidas is, I KNOW some people like their stuff. I get that. I'm just frustrated that the last few times I have gotten crap. I used to run in Adidas for years, but that was L O N G ago. Since then I have had shit luck with their products. I'm switching back to Nike.

My left foot.

If I sit for long periods, I develop frankenstein foot, lumbering around without much mobility in the thing. I've never been all that coordinated, and with a frozen foot, my movements are anything but graceful lately. I think I have discovered some of what is going on with my foot though. There is definitely nerve stuff going on, and some compensating that makes other parts of my foot and body hurt. I'm worried about two spots, because I get super sharp pains. At times I think oh no, another stress fracture? But I don't think it is. I just hope it's nothing too drastic. Damn, I sometimes feel like people should have a limited pain quota. Similar to bees that fly a certain amount and then die, people should only be allowed to experience a certain amount of pain. Maybe croaking at the end of that limit isn't such a great idea, but I'm sure I could iron out some details to make this pain distribution plan among humans workable. I think I have filled my pain quota, thank you very much. Maybe PT will help later. In the meantime, running has been not as fun. I've been super careful to watch and avoid any sharp pain while running, but there are times when I'm walking or standing when the pain grips me and stresses my poor little brain out to no end. Oddly, resting it doesn't make it feel a whole lot better, and if I do some rehab, it can sometimes relieve at least a bit of the pain. I think the bulk of it is definite nervy stuff going on in there. Oy.  But there's also something else going on -maybe a little strain- on the opposite side.

This is me lately

I've had to make some hard decisions this week. Sometimes I don't know what the right thing is to do. I'm not talking just about my foot anymore here. In general, I try to do what I feel is right, but that becomes quite difficult when the answer isn't obvious or emotions get in the way. Maybe in some situations it's OK to do what feels safe. Sometimes tough choices make my heart ache though.

In conclusion, here's an image I really, REALLY like:
This is awesome! 
I hate making fun of bands, but Creed and Nickelback just don't do anything for me. OK, ok there's that one song (figured you out) by Nickelback that doesn't completely suck, but I still can't stand the band. I'm not saying that just to be cool either.

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