Twitchy eye

I read somewhere that quinine can help reduce eye twitching. Of course, the amount in tonic water isn't therapeutic enough to encourage me to start drinking Mind Erasers on a nightly basis, but it's tempting. Really though, I should figure out a way to get more shut eye and manage my time better. I think the occasional eye twitch, in my case, is due to disrupted sleep and stress. It definitely occurs only on days on which I'm tired.

Several years ago, I told the guy I was dating at the time to shoot me if I ever ended up being one of those ladies who's 100 years old, dyes her hair jet black and wears bright red lipstick, not just on her lips but well around the outer edge of them as well. Secretly there's a part of me that thinks it would be sort of cool to attempt to hang on to youth, even when it's obvious that the salad days are long gone. However, I admire more those who age gracefully. That said, I fight it. My hair is not its natural color, and sometimes I get sick of making the effort. The gray hairs scare me though. I think some of it has to do with missing so much of my life when I was sick. I feel too young to look this old, and, wow, it is crazy how much hair color affects how old one looks. Many years ago, I felt much too old and looked like crap despite my naturally dark brown hair. I'm sometimes tempted to dye my hair entirely gray in a rebellious move. Then I can get excited as the brown creeps its way back in streaks on my head.

I wish I could be more like my mom who had salt and pepper hair by the time she was 40. Dyeing her hair never crossed her mind. She rocked the look, though, and has always been beautiful. It's really dumb, because I should be happy that I have hair at all! I lost so much of it with the anorexia. When I looked in the mirror when I was at my worst, I found thinning hair and bald spots on my head. With the anorexia, it's not that I stopped caring about my appearance; it's more that the illness became more important than looking good. I couldn't control it, much like a meth addict can't help using even when sores start appearing on the body and teeth start rotting. At the time, I felt like I couldn't do anything about my hair falling out, especially when the most obvious cure was eating more food. Even when I was getting better, my hair remained thin. I worried the balding spots would never sprout hair again, but, eventually, with the addition of some good supplements and an improved diet, things got better.

We live in a society obsessed with youth and beauty. I'm a product of that, so while there's a part of me that wants to be brave enough to say, "Screw it. No more dyeing my hair!" there's another part equally invested in covering up the gray. When will I draw the line? I'm not sure. A friend of mine shaved her head and let her hair grow back naturally. Her hair is almost all white, and she looks fabulous. Another lady I know is in her 60's and dyes her hair. She looks good too. Apparently, Kate Moss thinks gray on anyone is fashionable, but just because she streaked her hair with gray dye doesn't mean everyone thinks it looks good. I'm afraid I'd just look old.

What's interesting is that, without question, I find guys look better with natural hair. For some reason, I can't get used to a guy who dyes his hair, unless he uses some wild color, and it's meant to be a statement. It's very sexy when men avoid coloring their locks though. People may assume it was George Clooney who made the salt and pepper look popular, but there are plenty of hot guys who are graying.

Well, if anyone doesn't like it if I eventually do decide to forget the coloring, there's that oh so special saying about all cats being gray in the dark.  :/

I think in my next post, I might address people not being able to ask for what they need or want. I bring it up, because I have a very difficult time doing it. Right now, I need to rest my tweaky eye and try to decide if I can handle another episode of American Horror Story. Yeah, you know I can't miss it. I assume I'll spend another few days sprinting past the basement stairs and flipping on all the lights on my way to my bedroom.

Speaking of horror stories, I had a terrible encounter the other day. On the other hand, because of it I found the key to running fast:

Step one- Place a humongous spider in the middle of the trail
Step two- While jumping over said spider, realize that the thing is alive and not your imagination
Step three- Land on the other side of the terrifying critter and watch those times DrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOP!

I speak from experience, yes. Holy crap that spider I saw on Tuesday was CRAZY BIG! It was really insane. And.....AAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Now there's more horror. I just looked outside, and

 it's snowing. I need to move somewhere warm.  :(