Sunday, March 23, 2014

How Do You Sleep?

I often wonder why people who are generally shitty sleep so soundly, while those of use who worry and fret about doing the right thing often long for but can't seem to catch those comforting Z's at night. I guess when you don't consider anyone else but yourself in life, nothing really matters, and your brain doesn't get filled with any complicated thoughts, no guilt, shame, remorse or consideration, nope. You want, so you take. It doesn't matter who you hurt, because you don't give enough of a fuck to attempt to put yourself in anyone else's shoes. Why should you? Your world is too narrowly defined to consider how another person's shoes might pinch, not that you could face that or anyone anyway. More and more, this seems to be the way of the world.

I've been as sick as anyone could imagine lately. I seem to have some kind of pneumonia or related respiratory ailment, and the endometriosis is kicking my ass again, despite the IUD. I just heard that there's a big controversy involving the head of Hobby Lobby who doesn't want his company's health insurance to cover birth control. I wish I could inflict endo on all these fuckheads who are too idiotic to realize that sometimes birth control is more about a medical procedure than family planning. Unlike something like, oh I don't know...Viagra, going on the pill or getting an IUD can help treat conditions like mine. In theory anyway.

Actually, I'm one of the few who hasn't adjusted well to this treatment. Normally, the success rate is good for some improvement. So far, all I have noticed are bigger boobs and more cramps. I'm still bleeding like a scene out of a fucking horror film. Actually, it's not quite as bad as it was, but my uterus has been spitting out red for over two months straight now.

So that's my update. My life has become pretty much nothing but sleep (when I can), food, meds, Dexter, work and pooping. I'm keeping it simple. Plus, I don't really feel like doing much else. I've even given up writing for now. Maybe some ice cream and an episode of Cosmos might lift my spirits a little tonight.


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