Thursday, October 25, 2018

Round Two

I've been repeatedly ridiculed by a particular person in the last few years. I don't really know her and don't care to, yet I'm affected by her creepy online behavior. As much as I hate dedicating parts of my blog to what looks like childish bullshit on the surface when I do write, blogging often helps me process.  

I've always been one who wants the world to operate under some kind of "Do the Right Thing" rule, and in most cases, doing the right thing isn't all that complicated to figure out. Most people know right from wrong. In some cases, the right action is clear, but there's an obstacle that inhibits the right outcome. That's what I consider normal, but in rare cases, people are just assholes or mentally ill and can't help but inflict their misery onto others.

It's never my goal to harm anyone, but if you fuck with me or worse, my friends, I'm not going to take it lightly. I have a tendency to be far too nice up to a point, but when someone keeps needling me or the people I care about, I will eventually react. I was much too kind in this blog post about someone who has presented herself as an obsessive stalker and continues to play fucking games because she's completely unable to either address whatever is going on in her mind directly or let go of whatever made-up bullshit grudge she has against pretty much all the people who ever tried to help her or were nice to her, me included. If you want the long sordid but true story, start here:

I can't imagine going through life like that, just constantly lashing out at people, creating fake identities and constantly lying. How do people like this sleep at night? I'm familiar with having regrets, but I've never hounded people for things I imagined or pretended they did. Hell, given the way I was treated when I was young, I'd say I've done a pretty good job of forgiving and moving on. This woman appears to be completely incapable, and I can't imagine how anyone can look at the way she behaves and be OK with it. I'm certainly not.

I've been along for this nightmare of a ride since it started, since the first time she attempted to meddle in my relationship and lied about me. I witnessed her outbursts on Facebook when her former coach decided he had enough of her antics and nonpayment and cut her off, and I was at a hearing after she filed a false police report when a judge strongly suggested she fucking stop "trying to make Mr. Beck look like a bad person" online, which, of course, she didn't. What I don't understand is how anyone who has clearly been abusive could claim she's a victim, which is her latest trick.

That's the worst thing about all of this now, that she's pretending to be the victim of abuse of some sort after starting all of this. She's posting in various Reddit groups giving obvious clues that it's her until she eventually gets banned or booted for saying bizarre or obviously false things that rarely have anything to do with the theme of the forum. It makes me physically ill to see her pretending to be a target of any kind of misconduct and offer "advice" as a way to promote her lies. Why was this kind of abuse never brought up in the hearing? Because she was never anyone's prey. Though this post isn't what I call nice, it's accurate. Anyone who thinks it's unkind should imagine having someone attack you and your friends for years on end, and then ask yourself if you could continue to ignore it as the ugly behavior escalates.

You would think that someone who gets banned and whose comments get deleted in Reddit groups would at least take a break, but nope! After being booted from one group recently after making very unsettling comments that appear to be targeting me, she's already posting in another group, still pretending to be a victim. This is all a lot of blah blah to people who don't know the details of the saga, but normal people don't say the kinds of things she does. Normal people, even ones who truly are hurt, eventually get a fucking grip and stop irrationally lashing out at others. Because she said she could basically fuck with me (something she seems fond of doing and even threatened to do with her boyfriend's parents at one time) by going to my place of work, I'm more than a little concerned, not because of what she would say --my boss is like family to me and knows me extremely well -- but because of what someone this unhinged could potentially DO. I mean, this is really messed up, and I can't believe it's still going on with her. Over what? Over fucking what?

You might ask why put this out there. It's because people like her don't stop, ever. They obsess and try to manipulate and orchestrate, even if their plans look ridiculous. Below are three different versions of something she posted before she got kicked out of a narcissistic abuse group on Reddit. Having a relative with severe BPD, I'm familiar with "N abuse". Notice her controlling and manipulative language. There are a few things Kim needs to know that I will state clearly here:

1. I will never, ever go out for tea or meet you in person unless I'm forced to in a courtroom, and in that case, you can trust that I will be there prepared for whatever nonsense you attempt to hurl my way.

2. Kevin is not an abuser and has addressed his past openly, and I wasn't posting in that forum because of him, period. I consider him my best friend, and he has been there for me in ways very few people have throughout the time I have known him.

3. The more you play the troll, the worse you look. I beg you to get whatever help you need to stop harassing and trying to manipulate others online.

4. I don't hate my job and have always said how grateful I am to be working in a beautiful place with people who are like family to me. If you try anything at my place of employment, you will have to deal directly with the owners and their lawyers.

5. Obviously, if moderators and everyone else can see through your bullshit, maybe it's time to stop, just fucking stop already.

Kimberly Duclos,

Sean Donohue,

Kim has tried to convince others that she's the author of neither these anonymous attacks that always look the same nor the ones behind her own Twitter account but only when what's posted is really shitty. When she switches from genuine asshole to everything's all unicorns farting rainbows, then she wants everyone to believe it's her again. Because she has posted volumes of awful comments about Kevin, me, Brad, people in Boulder, my mom, those with eating disorders, the homeless, women who march for various causes, former running partners, pretty much all of Kevin's ex-girlfriends, and people with addictions, I'm only posting a very, very small sampling of what's out there. And because she has a special kind of venom for Kevin's former girlfriends, my guess is that she made some assumptions about their relationship.

I want people to know exactly what she's doing and has been doing over the years. I doubt there will ever be any real justice, but I can at least let people know what kind of person this woman is and how much she has lied and lashed out at me and other innocent people. Yes, I could look away, but I won't anymore. I did that for years, and it only seemed to encourage her to become more savage. I want it all out there. Sitting back and doing nothing feels worse so I will address this as much as I feel necessary.

Sean Donohue,

Kimberly Duclos,

Kimberly Duclos,

You can listen to audio clips from the hearing that demonstrate that Kim lied countless times after filing a false police report:


  1. It's hard to pick any one thing about someone this comprehensively evil, obsessive, and just plain sick that stands out the most. But in terms of her Internet behavior, I'd say that even if you strip out the 90 percent or so of her garbage that she's posted under pseudonyms, just the things she's willingly attached her own name to (especially on Twitter, but also on her blog and her Facebook page) are sufficient to earn her the status of sociopath.

    I know I frequently mention that she's mentally ill, which by any measure is true. But this isn't mean; if anything, it lets her off the hook incrementally because it implies that she hasn't had the same choices, the same control over behavior that psychologically normal people do. That's horseshit. She knows exactly what she's doing and would be a perfectly terrible human being even if she could get on drugs that stabilized her brain (drugs that I'm certain have yet to be invented and that she wouldn't willingly take anyway). Her mental disarray is just substrate for an inherently crippled, vindictive, greedy, infantile, socially inept personality.

    I think that sometimes Kim forgets that I'm not making these assessments based only on her posts and behavior since she started this vendetta after I jettisoned and blocked her in early 2014. She seems to be disregarding the plaintive e-mails, the confessions on Google Hangouts, all the stuff she told me when she trusted me as much as she'd ever trusted anyone. I've posted some of that shit, but the rest if so goddamn embarrassing to her than no matter how horribly she behaves, I'm not quite willing to post it. Yet.

    Her boyfriend-caregiver is just as culpable as she is at this point, because he's not unaware of her behavior. Not since the court appearance. He may have sat there in the back, autistic and hapless and looking like a failed hipster, but he's not stupid. And I know he read the most recent e-mail I sent him. And that's another thing -- Kim repeatedly acts like me cluing him in to her shit is overstepping or even harassment (and remember, she claimed on Twitter that he wanted to talk to me "about her braces") yet just this year, she's e-mailed Ruben, my web host, and USATF-NE to spew her usual lies. Never mind that people react to this with a mixture of smirking and "What the hell?"; it's the intention that matters.

    Kim hates herself, and usually when this is the case I feel some sort of bland empathy if nothing else, as I've had plenty of my own struggles. But my struggles, and those of other people, are precisely what she aims to exploit. She yammers about my increasingly ancient misdeeds and struggles with alcohol as if she's not *currently* existing as a sloppy, stinking do-nothing, always planning to enroll in school "soon" or get a job "sometime" or reboot her running career and blah blah blah. She's the worst person I've personally known. I've met people who have killed other people and Kim is worse than any of them because of the sheer mindless jealousy and groundless resentment that fuels it. She is the best example of the term "oxygen thief" I can think of. She will never be any good for anyone. Sure, she's apparently a good enough sex slave to keep her off the streets because she's with another socially retarded goof with zero confidence in himself, but that's a lot more precarious than she thinks it is. Does she really believe he'll not at least think about jettisoning her when she's a haggard 40 going on 55 and he's still 33 and an earner? She doesn't even like the guy anyway, she emphasized why and that she only likes the fact that he's an ATM with a beard.

    People who are happy in relationship don't craft elaborate fantasy lives online. Not even the nutjobs. That is a simple fact.

  2. Whenever I see someone else's perspective on Kim, especially yours, I get all the more furious because I'm reminded she's more than just a pest, a bitch, a pitiful two-faced whiner and an ingrate. She's an abuser in every meaningful way herself. She is a misogynist, a fount of ridiculous lies, a thief, and someone who is unlikely to live to see 50. I'm not just saying that because it would be convenient for me; I've looked at the stats concerning people with her range of issues, and they are extremely unfavorable.

    If I ever see her on the streets of Boulder, which is unlikely because she stays inside stuffing her face and drinking (a habit that was well underway when she was living with Colleen), I am not going to pretend she's not there. I'll have some genial questions for her. And I hope her asshole of a boyfriend is there. If the cops get involved again, all the better, because this shit's gonna end one way or another before too long.

    I'd say the predominant negative characteristic about Kim is her desire to see the world fail. As you know, I never did anything to her other than help her halfwit ass for free until she started her mayhem, and even then I waited a year before reacting. She got to revel in reports of my drunkenness for a while (although the shit that semi-literate C.U. skank threw out there was full of bullshit too), but guess who cleaned up his act and has worked his ass off and has plenty of money of his own in the bank, a dog, a great place to live, a car that was never repossessed, a real running habit, friends and family he can visit on the East Coast, etc.? I'm not bragging, just rubbing all of that shit in her face because it infuriates her that I'm not failing like she is. She would prefer to wake up to see that I had run over some kid drunk and killed him than see me doing OK, because the life of that child would pale in comparison to her gnashing glee over someone she can't stand (again, for no good reason) getting in trouble. Human life means nothing to that broken beast of a primate. But in reality, if anyone winds up committing vehicular homicide while wasted, it'll be her.

    Fuck this clown. She would kill to have the life you have and we all know it. Let's hope she doesn't try.

    1. As messed up as it seems, I actually think she has or had some kind of feelings or plans to be with you or at minimum have some kind of transnational relationship with you. Issues between a coach and athlete typically don't play out like this. There's something deeper, at least in her mind.

      Whatever the case, you're right that her behavior looks exactly like that of a sociopath, especially when she confessed that she wanted to know what it's like to kill someone. That's about as messed up as a person can get.

    2. Given that I have an e-mail from her dated January 23, 2014 in which she declared, "You in CO is a back up safety net to this one with Sean," you're probably not wrong. I took it at the time as one more strange add-on the train of absurd nonsense she was spewing in response to my crazy request as a coach for information about her, you know, running, but now I'm seeing it for what it clearly was.

  3. *transactional not transnational. Good 'ole autocorrupt.


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