Monday, December 19, 2011

Still alive

I can't say I'm doing much kicking, but I am alive on some level anyway.

This would be the perfect time to have a camera. Instead of posting (every time I try to type posting, I type posing instead. Weird too that every time I try to type soul, I type sould. I have no idea why.) Anyway, instead of posting a bunch of words, I could be posTing gross pictures of BOTH feet! That's right BOTH feet a fucked now. Oh yay. I'm past the totally depressed wallowing in self pity stage, because there's nothing I can do about it. I've settled uncomfortably into the indifferent stage. My car, my computer and my phone are all dying along with my feet. Actually, my computer is already dead. I'm borrowing one at the moment. It seems that with all the hardcore limping I have been doing, I may or may not have torn a muscle in my right foot. The left foot is sore too, of course. The doctor has been notified, and I have an appointment tomorrow. With everything going on, I have done pretty much shit lately. I have zero minus motivation.

I did get really excited reading about the possible discovery of the higgs boson particle. That has been the highlight of my existence in the last month or so. This discovery was found at CERN. Without the higgs boson, it is rather difficult to explain how other particles acquire mass. I was watching a cool video the other day that had an interesting way of explaining it. A higgs boson field, in theory, would allow other particles that usually travel at the speed of light to slow, and mass would be created. It's really more something that relates to weak interactions, but it's a good visual. I'm sure there will be more discoveries. It takes a long time to gather the massive amounts of data from the supercollider. God- it takes billions of trials to get just a small amount of usable data. It's crazy thrilling though.

"Simulated data- Higgs boson is produced and then decays into two jets of hadrons and two electrons. The lines represent the possible paths of particles produced by the proton-proton collision in the detector while the energy these particles deposit is shown in blue."

The other good thing is that I am down to 10 more days of this no chocolate hell. My cravings have not lessened, but I also haven't been good about avoiding talking about chocolate and looking at the gorgeous images on the Chocolate For Breakfast and Piece, Love and Chocolate websites.

Other than that, I have been in a baaad funk. I'm not working out much lately, and I think I'm just depressed. I HATE winter too. It just sucks to be cold. Uggh. Plus, getting around in the snow and driving on the ice is the pits. It's not easy to see everyone who is running well post about how well things are going. I'm truly glad for them, but it makes me sad that I can't be making my own goals as well. I'm so worried about my feet. Sigh.

I'm very fortunate that I can borrow a computer, as I just started working on a short story. The idea is that I can submit it to a new magazine. Actually, the deadline is approaching rather quickly, so I'm going to cut this short. Hopefully I can get back into the blogging spirit again soon.

Happy Solstice everyone! It's coming up on Thursday.

Ohh- my new band addiction in addition to Awolnation and Cage the Elephant (did I not tell you they would be big a few years back??) is Grouplove:

Some local DJ said that the band sounds like Nirvana. I'm like, dude, are you deaf? They sound like Modest Mouse, or even MGMT or early Cure if anything.
Check this one out, and you will hear it even more:

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