Thursday, April 5, 2012


I feel like spent grain, so I'm taking the day off today. My brain is tired. Usually every four weeks or so, I feel the need to take an extra day off, but now and then I need a real blow off day, one of those sit around and eat bon bons while watching bad TV in my PJ's kind of days.

Maybe a nap will help.

With so much limping and being in the foot brace so much, I've become lopsided.

Lately, I miss my cigarette smoking, not super lean yoga instructor. I don't fit in with the "I'm so flexible in my body but rigid in my mind" crowd. Many of the yoga people around here have a snotty air about them. Obviously I'm speaking in big generalizations that don't apply to EVERYONE. One person in this crowd really offended me when he brought up karma when a lady I know mentioned that her husband has cancer, implying that his BBBBAAADDD karma had something to do with him being sick. Even if this yoga goer actually thinks this, who says that to a woman who is frantic at the thought of her husband having to fight the illness? It's absurd to think that karma is the way of the world anyway. Try explaining that to a child starving in some poverty stricken country. "Sorry kid, you got bad karma. No soup for you." The world doesn't operate that way. I'm not saying humans shouldn't strive to do good, be kind and attempt to better themselves. I'm just saying anyone who spouts some bullshit about karma to someone struggling with cancer deserves a good kick in the shins. I'm sure anyone who has lost a loved one because of cancer will do the honors.

I started this blog over a week ago, and ended up with the flu before I could finish. I have no idea where I was going with it, because my brain was in such a big fog at the time. Apparently, I have some anger toward the self-righteous though. Speaking of self-righteous people, I'm reminded of the standard structure of a thread in nearly any forum, except cooking forums. For some reason, everyone seems to be super happy and polite in cooking forums, though I'm sure there are a few angry chefs out there. The common course of a thread in pretty much any other forum starts with a serious, interesting or controversial topic. After the introductory topic is presented, a few people make some good points, some self-righteous character is unable to present his thoughts without going for a low blow, a fight erupts and the thread gets derailed, the fight either fizzles out or someone locks the thread and if the thread isn't locked at this point, a few random posters come in with jokes and silly comments to finish it. After seeing this play out over and over and over, it's hard to want to participate in the whole forum scene. I guess a certain level of anonymity allows people to behave in crummy ways, and, unfortunately, sitting behind a computer screen almost encourages this kind of childish behavior, which is sad, because there are obviously bright people who can have a good debate without hurling insults. The problem is that the comments of these people generally get lost when the focus turns on the group tossing around put-downs. I suppose the comedy at the end is entertaining, though is seems out of place after at least one person has ended up with hurt feelings. I'm content with no longer getting involved. I have realized that I'm just not a forum person. I'll stick to the blogging world.

Heh- I suppose me ripping on people isn't exactly the epitome of someone gathering good karma points, is it?

I have a lot of anger lately though. I don't know if it's because I feel so mistreated by people or because I'm frustrated dealing with too much stress -my mom's operation, getting sick, car issues, work struggles and my FOOT-gah! Whatever the cause, I'm OK with lashing out a little bit here in my blog. People generally know that I'm not in the habit of bashing anyone without good reason, and even then I'm somewhat reluctant unless it's really bothering me. Sometimes it's hard to take the high road. When something continues to eat at me, I will occasionally go to the middle of the road, though I try to avoid falling onto the highway to hell by going for those super low blows, which I almost did just now by giving an example of what someone recently did in a forum. [[CENSORED]]  :o

When did everyone start saying, "at the end of the day" ? It has become the new "whatever".

Well, my foot is finally getting a little bit better. I started PT, and WOW I needed that. I can't believe how much scar tissue needed to be addressed. No wonder I pulled a muscle after starting back. I'm still in the brace for a few weeks, but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have to admit that it is HARD to read everyone's race reports and training logs right now. I don't even feel like a runner at this point. Everyone keeps saying it will come back, but I was struggling to run anywhere even close to a seven-minute mile last summer. Now I'm WAY behind even that. Sigh. Plus, I seem to have lost endurance. I think I was more hardcore on the bike last time. This time I had too many set-backs and other things going on to attack workouts like an animal. I have to focus on the fact that the x-rays showed that the surgery took. Yes, that means that I stayed off it enough and didn't over do it. Imagine that!


Only I'm still way out of shape, and it's hard to face struggling this hard to reach a certain level of mediocrity.  :(

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