I kept telling myself I was just doing a tempo run, which I did. The whole time I felt on top of things, like I could have gone faster, but guess who's disappointed running a minute and a half SLOWER than last year on the CU cross country course? I totally forgot how to run hard, but I am getting the tempo thing down. Sigh. I did slow down to yell at a lady when her dog jumped up and tried to eat me, but last year I stopped to tie my shoe. I guess it evens out in terms of lost time. Last year, I had company on my little time trial, and I think that helped me go harder. A running partner is something that's definitely lacking for me this year. I'm trying not to stress about the run this morning, even though I'm bumming a little. On the other hand, my foot's still sore and makes me lopsided, so I was watching it closely. Also, I haven't done much in terms of hard running, so I'll work on being OK with the training I did today. I know I put in a solid effort, because a woolly mammoth jumped on my back eight minutes into my cool-down jog. I ended up having to walk home, mostly because my legs were beat, and my foot said, "enough!" Still, I saw plenty of places I could have gone faster. Some of me holding back was fear, and some was about accepting that this wasn't an all-out effort. Funny how I can still get all down about it though. I go out and do what I told myself to do, and then I'm on my case about not doing better! I guess I was secretly hoping for one of those pleasant surprises, even though I know I wasn't pushing it as hard as I could. Oh well. 29:12 on the cross-country course isn't great, but it's not too horrible as a workout.
I have to add that this was a tough and extra long week. I was over booked with too much stuff to do and emotionally drained with all the tragic incidents that occurred. Plus there are lingering issues I've been dealing with that tend to resurface at random moments. Many of those came up when I was attending a memorial service on Thursday. Sometimes I shove things down, and then those things come back up in response to some other emotional trigger.
I did throw in a solid workout on Tuesday with some good hill repeats. I even hit a few of them around the same times as I did last year, so I really should be OK with where I am right now. Of course there is room for improvement. I just have to be careful, because I feel an occasional sharp pain in my pelvis when I'm into the hard stuff. Usually backing off and a minor stride adjustment fix it, which is good. I desperately need to be getting some PT, but I can't afford it at the moment.
This is really a short update. I have the sudden urge to crawl into bed and either sleep or cry before work. Maybe both will do me good. Actually, I'm too tired to cry, so a short amount of ZzzZZZzz time will have to suffice.
I hope I can catch some of the Olympic equestrian/eventing. I would hate to miss that. I'm not sure how many of the running events I will watch. For whatever reason, I still have a hard time bringing myself to watch those kinds of races.
I'm still craving a chocolate glazed doughnut the size of my head. I have no idea where this craving is coming from, as I generally prefer ice cream or cookies as a treat. Weird. When I used to run longer distances, I got some really strange cravings. I once got a hankering for some black olives on a long run and later craved a beer, something I rarely, rarely crave. It's very strange. When I ran the Pikes Peak Marathon, I had such a BAD craving for M&M's that I thought I might die. I saw a lady at the top with a plastic bag full of the brightly colored candy and was SOOOO excited when she offered me some. The disappointment was immense when I realized they were skittles! Drat. Skittles do NOT cut it when you're expecting M&M's. I passed. Still needing some energy, someone shoved a banana in my hand, and I was sent down the mountain. No chocolate for me that day. :(