I'm on a bit of a posting frenzy lately, and I feel like I'm not expanding my blog quite like I should be. In other words, I'm being a bit selfish and self indulgent. However, I ran today. I figured that was worthy of a 2nd post for the day. Well, I guess it's not exactly running, but I was able to sort of jog for 20 minutes. I have such a long, long way to go. My PT told me to be really careful, because there are still too many imbalances and the foot isn't quite strong enough yet. Still, I was so overwhelmed when I completed 20 minutes of merely moving outside that I cried. Ok fine, I've been crying plenty in the last few weeks, but this was because I could finally see the light.
I know it will be a long road from here still, but even a few weeks ago, I seriously thought I might not ever run again. Things were just not coming along, and the pain was also such an issue. Today I also jumped on the bike for a harder workout. I think the easy week paid off, because for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like my workout was eating me alive. I was on top of things. There's some fitness in there somewhere. How it might translate to running later will be interesting. The main thing is that, despite some lingering pain from the surgery, I can see that the real awful intense and sharp pain that I had going on in that foot is no longer there. That is why I cried. I can't believe how fucking long I have suffered with my foot. I can't even believe I used to run on it at all, and I had no idea the surgery would be this incredibly challenging in so many god damn ways, from the out of control pain levels to just not being able to do the simplest tasks. Now that I have a glimpse, however, it might very well have all been worth it.
I had all these hopes to be training with a running buddy this summer, but my old partner doesn't really run much anymore due to her back. Everyone else is probably too fast. I'm getting ahead of myself anyway, but it feels so incredibly good to have just a twinge of optimism. I was so panicked that I wouldn't be running again ever. It may be ridiculous, but I honestly feel I can weather things better when I run. It has been like a friend died without it. I have to do as my PT says and not do too much, but even 5-10 minutes is better than nothing. I will take it.