I kind of want to race. I also kind of don't want to race. I got all excited, thinking I could jump into something this week, but then all kinds of things happened, including a drop in my confidence, as I realized just how slow I must be these days. A drop in energy has also occurred. I'm not sure if it's because sleep is lacking or things are hectic, but I'm feeling like I want to nap all day. I have no explanation for the desire to eat every 2 hours, but I'm abnormally hungry and cranky lately. Also, some hardcore PT made my foot so sore that I was limping yesterday. Oddly, today it feels a bit better. Still, I all of a sudden can't put my full weight on it when I attempt toe raisers, so I think running in a crowd probably isn't the best idea this week. I mean, do I do it for the sake of doing it with the idea that it's just a hard workout or do I hold off until I can actually really run hard? :/ Either way, I have to face the fact that I am out of shape and slow- really slow, and that's never easy. And do I really want anyone else to witness that? On the other hand, I'm running. Despite the incredible stiffness I'm experiencing, the pain and the frustration, I am running.
Sigh. So why do I want more?